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美剧《生活大爆炸》经典台词
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美剧《生活大爆炸》经典台词:1.You find yourself with nothing to do，please do not disturb me.你感觉到无聊时，请千万不要来打扰我。2.Grow up，Raj．There's no place for truth on the Internet..别天真了，真相在因特网上是无处容身的。
用上几句经典台词，让你的谈话更有趣。& You find yourself with nothing to do，please do not disturb me.& 你感觉到无聊时，请千万不要来打扰我。& Grow up，Raj．There's no place for truth on the Internet.& 别天真了，真相在因特网上是无处容身的。& My life is meaningless.My future is without hope.& 我的人生毫无意义，我的未来尽失希望。& I sense I may have crossed some sort of fine.& 我感觉我好像玩儿过火了。& I am truly sorry for what happened last night．I take full responsibility.& 我真的对昨晚发生的事情感到抱歉。我承担所有的责任。& At least now you can retrieve the black box from the twisted smoldering wreckage that was once your fantasy of dating her and analyze the data SO that you don’t crash into Geek Mountain again.& 至少你现在还能从燃烧的废墟里找回装满对她美妙幻想的黑匣子，好好分析下数据你就不会再坠入“呆子谷”。& Oh，I'm sorry．Did I insult you?Is your body mass somehow tied into your self worth?& 哦，对不起。我有冒犯你吗?你的体重跟自我价值有关系?& When people are upset，the cultural convention is to bring them hot beverages.& 当人们伤心时，传统礼节就是为他们奉上热饮。&& That's no reason to cry．One cries because one is sad．For example，I cry because others are stupid，and that makes me sad.& 这可不是什么好理由。大家都是因为伤心才哭嘛。比方我吧，我总为别人太傻哭，因为人家愚蠢搞得我很伤心。& Great Caesar’S Ghost，look at this place!& 我的天哪，看看这个地方!& Well，we'll get out of your hair.& 好了，我们就不打扰你了。& Give me a fulcrum and a lever and I can move the Earth.& 给我一个支点，我可以撬动整个地球。
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版权所有 & . All Rights Reserved.《生活大爆炸》中主角有哪些你未曾注意到的细节？【托福雅思口语练习】 - 朗播网
转眼间，《生活大爆炸》这部情景喜剧已经陪伴观众们走过了 9 个年头，在 2 月时刚刚庆祝了第 200 集的播出。9 年间我们陪着这四个科学家成长，Leonard 和 Penny 结婚了，连我们一度以为依靠有丝分裂无性繁殖的 Sheldon 都跟 Amy 同学达到了生命的大和谐。这 200 多集的的剧集中，除了那些经久不衰的经典梗，也有很多并未被注意到的细节，这些梗你都注意过嘛？
Penny! Penny! Penny! ——Penny 姓啥？
第一女主角 Penny 的搬家是整部剧的起点，但是看了九季，我们似乎从未听她提起自己姓什么。在第六季结束之后，剧组曾经举办了见面会。有好奇的剧迷向剧组询问 Penny 姓什么，Penny 的扮演者 Kaley 非常神秘地表示，她自己也并不知道 (￣▽￣")，或许 Penny 的姓氏将一直是一个谜。不过，最终编剧大大还是站出来表示：不要急！Penny 姓什么我们最终还是会告诉你们的！
不过，从 S09E01 来看，我们似乎已经知道答案了——
Penny 和 Leonard 终于结婚了，那么毫无疑问，Penny 当然是姓 Hofstader 了！编剧果然好心机啊！
Sheldon 不是金牛座
作为剧组头牌，Sheldon 明显的强迫症和理论性，让很多人都以为这位是个土象的严谨科学家。在 S01E16 中，Penny 也吐槽过，“典型的金牛座”。
Sheldon: For the record, "that psychotic rant" was a concise summation of the research of bertram forer, who in 1948, proved conclusively through meticulously designed experiments that astrology is nothing but pseudo-scientific hokum.
Penny: Blah, blah, blah. Typical Taurus.
但是在 S08E16 中，Penny 与 Sheldon 在做“爱情实验”的时候，无意中得知了 Sheldon 的生日正是当天（2月底），所以其实 Sheldon 是双鱼座哦！
Penny: That is so funny. I never would have pegged you for a Pisces.
Sheldon: You're making it difficult to love you right now.
Amy 第一季就出现过
Sheldon 的真命天女 Amy 同学正式出场是在 S03E23，第三季季末。但其实扮演 Amy 的演员马伊姆·拜力克（Mayim Hoya Bialik）可是在第一季中就出场过的哦！
早在 S01E04，Raj、Leonard、Howard 三人因为无法忍受 Sheldon 愤而将其驱逐出物理小组，而后在餐厅，三人讨论该找谁作为第四名队员的时候，Raj 就提起过：
Raj: You know who is apparently very smart? Is the girl who played TV's Blossom. She got a Phd. in neuroscience or something.
没错，这里 Raj 提到的就是 Amy 的扮演者 Mayim 了。而且她也确确实实地有神经科学的博士学位，曾经参演过《皆大欢喜》（Blossom）。
配乐中的笑点
剧集前期，Raj 一见到妹子就不能出声的问题一直没有解决，剧组在这方面也是配了不少笑料，要知道埋梗可不只是在台词中哦！
在 S03E16 中，Raj 买了一件带音响的上衣，在有 Penny 在场的时候便通过音箱的声音来表达态度。例如，Sheldon 收到了违反交规的罚单，气愤地表示自己没有违法。Howard 补了一句“你确实违法了”。 Raj 则用了一段“回答正确”的音效来表示赞同：
而在 Sheldon 以为这三人会为了陪他去法院而放弃动漫大会的时候，Raj 是这样表态的：
在这两段剧情中，Raj 放送的音效分别是美国著名问答综艺节目 Jeopardy 中“回答正确”和“回答错误”的音效。此外，在前面的剧情中，有这样一段“对话”：
Leonard: I can't decicide whether I want Stan Lee to autograph my Journey into Mystery 83, first appearance of Thor or my Fantastic Four number five, first appearance of Dr. Doom.
Raj: (Jeopardy theme song playing)
Leonard:Alex, I'm going to go with what is... you're a dumbass?
这里的 Alex 正是 Jeopardy 的主持人哦~ 如果不仔细了解，对于观众的笑声是不是有点摸不到头脑呢？
除此以外，《生活大爆炸》还有很多的致敬和彩蛋，每个笑点背后都有编剧和科学顾问勤奋的汗水，中的你还注意到哪些不为人知的细节呢？
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Season 1Episode 1 Penny：So, what do you guys do for fun around here?Sheldon：Well, today we tried masturbating for money.Penny：那么，你们平时都玩儿些什么？Sheldon：今天我们刚试过靠自 慰赚钱。Penny：God, you know, four years I lived with him. Four years…that's like as long as high school!Sheldon：It took you four years to get through high school?Penny：老天呀，要知道我和他同居了四年。四年……那可是和高中一样长啊！Sheldon：你用了四年才读完高中?Penny: You want to know the most pathetic part? Even though I hate his lying, cheating guts... I still love him. Is that crazy?Sheldon: Yes.Penny: 你知道最悲哀的是什么吗？即使我痛恨他的欺骗，他的不忠……我仍然爱他。我是不是疯了？Sheldon: 是的。Leonard：What makes you think she wouldn't have sex with me? I'm a male and she's a female.Sheldon：Yes, but not of the same species.Leonard：你凭什么认为她不会和我上 床？我是个男的她是个女的。Sheldon：没错，但不是同一个物种。Sheldon：You think with your penis.Leonard：That's a biological impossibility. Sheldon：你在用下半身思考。Leonard：从生理上说是不可能的。 Leonard：And you were right about my motives. I was hoping to establish a relationship with Penny that might have someday led to sex.Sheldon：Well, you got me out of my pants.Leonard：Anyway, I've learned my lesson. She's out of my league. I'm done with her. Got my work, one day I'll win the Nobel Prize and then I'll die alone.Sheldon：Don't think like that. You're not going to die alone.Leonard：Thank you, Sheldon. You're a good friend.Sheldon：And you're certainly not going to win a Nobel Prize.Leonard：关于我的动机，你说得对。我是想和Penny建立点儿关系，没准哪天可以**。Sheldon：你倒是搞得我脱了裤子。Leonard：总之我得到教训了。她和我不是一国的，我不再奢求什么。继续干我的活儿，等到哪天获得诺贝尔奖，然后孤独地死去。Sheldon：别那么想。你不会孤独地死去的。Leonard：谢谢你, Sheldon. 你真是我的好朋友Sheldon：当然你肯定也不会获诺贝尔奖的。Sheldon：You're not done with her, are you?Leonard：Our babies will be smart and beautiful.Sheldon：Not to mention imaginary.Sheldon：你不会放弃她的，是不是？Leonard：我们的孩子一定会又聪明又漂亮。Sheldon：更别提那丰富的想象力了。
Episode 2Sheldon：You realize that scene was rife with scientific inaccuracy.Penny：Yes, I know, men can't fly.Sheldon：No, no. Let's assume that they can. Lois Lane is falling, accelerating at an initial of 32 feet per second. Superman swoops down to save her by reaching out two arms of steel. Miss Lane, who is now traveling at approximately 120 miles an hour, hits them and is immediately slice into three equal pieces.Leonard：Unless Superman matches her speed and decelerates.Sheldon：In what space, sir? In what space? She's two feet above the ground. Frankly, if he really loved her, he'd let her hit the pavement. It'd be a more merciful death.Sheldon：你知道那场景里充斥着科学错误吧？Penny：是啊，我知道，人类不能飞。Sheldon：不，不，让我们假设人类可以。路易丝•莱恩以32英尺/秒平方的初始加速度急速坠落，超人突然下降，用钢铁般的手臂接住她。莱恩小姐此时大约速度在120英里/时，猛撞上超人的手臂后，她会马上被切成三等分。Leonard：除非超人赶上她的速度并减速。Sheldon：哪还有时间，先生? 哪有时间?她离地面只有两英尺。坦白讲，如果他真的爱她，就应该让她直接撞地。那会是种更仁慈的死法。Sheldon：Ah, gravity, thou are a heartless bitch.Sheldon：啊，地心引力，汝乃无良之婊子。Sheldon：You do understand that our efforts here will in no way increase the odds of you having sexual congress with this woman.Leonard：Men do things for women without expecting sex.Sheldon：Those would be men who just had sex.Leonard：I'm doing this to be a good neighbor. In any case, there's no way it could lower the odds.Sheldon：你得明白，我们在这儿所有的努力，绝不可能增加你和那女人发生关系的几率。Leonard：男人为女人做事，并不是只求**予以回报。Sheldon：那是对于刚做过爱的男人来说的。Leonard：我这么做是想成为一个好邻居。再说无论如何，这也绝不会降低几率啊。Leonard：A well-known folk cure for insomnia is to break in your neighbor's apartment and clean.Sheldon：Sarcasm?Leonard：You think?Sheldon：Granted, my methods may have been somewhat unorthodox, but I think the end result will be a measurable enhancement to Penny's quality of life.Leonard：You've convinced me. Maybe tonight we should sneak in and shampoo her carpet.Sheldon：You don't think that crosses a line?Leonard：Yes. For God's sake, Sheldon, do I have to hold up sarcasm sign every time I open my mouth?Sheldon：You have a sarcasm sign?Leonard：一个有名的民间治愈失眠法，就是闯入邻居的房间打扫清理。Sheldon：讽刺我呢？Leonard：你觉得呢？Sheldon：老实说，我的方法也许有些极端，但我认为最终有效地增进了Penny的生活质量。Leonard：你说得对，也许今晚我们该再偷溜去，给她的地毯来个泡泡浴。Sheldon：你不觉得那样太过火了吗?Leonard：当然。看在上帝的份上，Sheldon，难道我每次开口都要举块讽刺牌吗？Sheldon：你还有块讽刺牌？Penny：You sick geeky bastards!Leonard：How did she know it was us?Penny：你们这些恶心变态的杂种!Leonard：她怎么知道是我们干的？
Episode 4 Sheldon：Anyway, it occurs to me if I ever did perfect a time machine, I would just go into the past and give it to myself, thus eliminating the need for me to invent it in the first place.Sheldon：总之，我想到如果我发明了完美的时间机器，我会回到过去把它送给自己，省得自己一开始要发明它。Sheldon：You know what's interesting about caves, Leonard?Leonard：What?Sheldon：Nothing.Sheldon：你知道窑洞什么地方好玩吗，Leonard？Leonard：什么地方好玩？Sheldon：什么地方都不好玩。Sheldon：I can't believe he fired me.Leonard：Well, you did call him a glorified high school science teacher whose last successful experiment was lighting his own farts.Sheldon：In my defense, I prefaced that by saying, "with all due respect."Sheldon：我不敢相信他开除我了。Leonard：你确有说过他是被捧出来的高中理科老师。还说他上一次成功的试验是点燃了自己的屁。Sheldon：但我之前说了“恕我直言”。Sheldon：As you know, several weeks ago in our first encounter, we may have gotten off on the wrong foot when I called you an idiot. And I just wanted to say that I was wrong... to point it out.Sheldon：你知道，几周前我们第一次见面时，我们可能没给彼此留下好印象，我称你为白痴。我只想说我实在不应该……把这一点指出来。
Episode 5Penny：Leonard, I didn't know you played the cello.Leonard：Yeah, my parents felt that naming me Leonard and putting me in Advanced Placement classes wasn't getting me beaten up enough.Penny：Leonard，我都不知道你会拉大提琴。Leonard：是啊，我父母觉得给我取名Leonard，让我上天才班，还不够招人恨的。Sheldon：You're a lucky man, Leonard.Leonard：How so?Sheldon：You're talking to one of the three men in the western hemisphere capable of following that train of thought.Leonard：Well, what do you think?Sheldon：I said I could follow it. I didn't say I care.Sheldon：你很幸运，Leonard。Leonard：怎么说？Sheldon：听你说话的人是西半球仅有的三个能跟得上你思维的人之一。Leonard：那么，你怎么看？Sheldon：我只是说我跟得上，不代表我有兴趣。Penny：So, how's everything?Sheldon：Mmm! Terrific. You'll be happy to know that I plan to come here every Tuesday night for the foreseeable future.Penny：Really? Oh, yay!Sheldon：Who do I speak to about permanently reserving this table?Penny：Um... I don't know... a psychiatrist?Penny：如何呀？Sheldon：呒，棒极了。在可预见的将来，我打算每周二晚上都来这儿，你开心吧！Penny：真的？哦，耶！Sheldon：如果要永久订下这张台要跟谁谈？Penny：呃……我也不知道……精神病医生吧？
Episode 7Sheldon：Well, first, we don't have houseguests. Frankly, if I could afford the rent, I'd ask you to leave.Leonard：Your friendship means a lot to me as well.Sheldon：首先，我们不留宿客人。说句实话，如果我付得起房租，会连你一起赶走的。Leonard：你的友谊对我来说也很重要。Leonard：I'm sorry, are you suggesting that if we let Penny stay we might succumb to cannibalism?Sheldon：No one ever thinks it'll happen until it does.Leonard：Penny, if you promise not to chew the flesh off our bones while we sleep, you can stay.Leonard：不好意思，你是说如果让Penny留下，我们就会为了吃人肉而自相残杀吗？Sheldon：事情没发生的时候谁都不会信。Leonard：Penny如果你保证不会趁我们睡着时从我们骨头上剔肉吃，你就可以留下。
E8Leonard：Well, the key to acquiring proficiency in any task is repetition.Sheldon：With certain obvious exceptions. Sucide, for example.Leonard：哦太好了，精通一门技术的要诀就在于熟能生巧。Sheldon：还有一些显而易见的例外。比如自杀。Leonard：Do you have a drink that will make him less obnoxious?Penny：Drinks do not work that way.Leonard：你有能让他不那么讨厌的酒吗？Penny：酒不是这样发挥作用的。Sheldon：When I was a little boy and got sick, which was most of the time, my mother would read it to me. It's about an Indian princess who befriends a monkey who was mocked by all the other monkeys because he was different. For some reason, I related to it quite strongly.Penny：I know the reason.Leonard：We all know the reason.Sheldon：在我很小的时候，我常常生病，每逢那时，妈妈就会读那故事给我听。那是一个印度公主和一只猴子交朋友的故事，那猴子因为与众不同，总是遭到其他同类的嘲笑。不知道为什么，那猴子使我产生了强烈共鸣。Penny：我知道为什么。Leonard：我们都知道为什么。Raj：You! You are the one who ruined everything. Go ahead, tell my parents why they won't have any grandchildren.Sheldon：How would I know? Do you have a low sperm count?Raj：你！就是你把一切都搞砸了！来吧，给我父母讲讲他们为什么抱不上孙子了。Sheldon：我怎么会知道？莫非你精子数量太少？Sheldon：Oh. All right, noted. Sorry.Raj：Sorry? That's all you can say is sorry?Leonard：Take it, Raj. It's more than I've ever gotten.Sheldon：噢。好吧，知道了。对不起。Raj：对不起？你就只会说对不起？Leonard：知足吧，Raj。我连这待遇都还没有过呢。Leonard：So you're not going to see her again?Sheldon：Why would I see her again? I already have a dentist.Leonard：I wonder who's going to tell his parents they're not having grandchildren?Leonard：那你不准备再见她了？Sheldon：我为什么要再见她？我已经有牙医了。Leonard：我倒想知道谁能去告诉他的父母，他们别想抱上孙子了。
16楼“自杀”少一个字母i，没办法，全敲上去会被过滤
Episode 9Sheldon：You know, in the future when we're disembodied brains in jars, we're going to look back at this as eight hours well wasted.Raj：I don't want to be in a jar. I want my brain in an android body. Eight feet tall and ripped.Howard：I'm with you. I just have to make sure that if I'm a synthetic human, I'd still be Jewish. I promised my mother.Raj：I suppose you could have your android penis circumcised, but that's something your rabbi would have to discuss with the manufacturer.Sheldon：Not to mention you'd have to power down on Saturdays.Sheldon：你知道，未来当我们只剩下大脑被装在罐子里，回顾这八小时完全是浪费时间。Raj：我可不想被装在罐子里。我希望我的大脑放在机器人体内。八英尺高（相当于2米44），肌肉强壮。Howard：我也这么想。只是我得确定，如果我是人造人，还能是个犹太人。我向我妈保证过。Raj：我想你得给你的人造小弟弟行割礼，不过这事儿你们的拉比（犹太人的学者）得和制造商谈谈。Sheldon：更别说每周六你们还得断电（犹太人周末不工作为安息日）。Penny：Wow, I didn't know they still made corduroy suits.Leonard：They don't. That's why I saved this one.Penny：Okay, well, let's just see what else you have. Okay, here, take this... And this, and this, and these...Leonard：Is this all stuff you want me to try on?Penny：No, this is stuff want you to throw out. Seriously, don't even give them to charity. You won't be helping anyone.Penny：哇噢，我都不知道现在还有人做灯心绒西装。Leonard：现在没有了，所以我才留着这一套。Penny：好的，呃，让我们看看你还有什么。好，拿着这个……还有这个，还有这个，还有这些……Leonard：不会这些都要试吧？Penny：不，这些是我希望你能扔了的。我说真的，连捐都不要捐，捐了也帮不了任何人。Leonard：Look, if you weren't happy with my presentation, then maybe you should have given it with me.Sheldon：As I've explained repeatedly, unlike you, I don't need validation from lesser minds. No offense.Leonard：I've had enough of your condescension. Maybe I didn't go to college when I was 11 like you. Maybe I got my doctorate at 24 instead of 16, but you are not the only person who is smarter than everyone else in this room! No offense.Leonard：我说，如果你对我的报告有意见，那或许你当初就该跟我一起来讲。Sheldon：我已经反复解释过了，我不像你。我不需要那些不如我的人对我的肯定。（冲台下观众）无意冒犯。Leonard：我受够你屈尊俯就的姿态了！也许我不像你那样11岁就进大学，也许我24岁才拿到博士学位而不是16岁，但你也不是这屋里唯一一个比其他人都聪明的人啊！（冲台下观众）无意冒犯。Sheldon：You could have offered me a ride home.Leonard：You're lucky I didn't run you over.Sheldon：你本可以载我回来的。Leonard：你该庆幸我没从你身上碾过去。
Episode 11 Sheldon：Anyway, the housekeeper in the faculty residence didn't speak any English. and when I finally managed to convince her I was sick, She said, "Mochtest du eine Darmspfilung?"Penny：What does that mean?Sheldon：Based on what happened next, I assume it means, Would you like an enema?Sheldon：总而言之，那儿的宿舍管理员不会说英语，当我终于让她明白我病了，她对我说了句"Mochtest du eine Darmspfilung?"Penny：这话什么意思？Sheldon：就接下来的情形，我猜她是在问，“你需要灌肠吗？”
Episode 12Dennis：It's startling to me you haven't considered a Lorentz invariantor field theory approach.Sheldon：You think I haven't considered it? You really think I haven't considered it?Dennis：Have you considered it?Sheldon：Get him out, Leonard.Dennis：我很吃惊你尚未考虑到从洛仑兹不变量或场理论方面入手。Sheldon：你以为我没有考虑过？你真以为我没有考虑过？Dennis：你考虑过吗？Sheldon：把他领出去，Leonard。Penny：Still can't talk to me unless you're drunk, huh? Oh, sweetie, you are so damaged.Howard：Hey, I'm damaged, too. How about a hug for Howie?Penny：Sure. Raj, hug Howard.Penny：没喝醉还是不能跟我说话吗？哦宝贝，你真可怜。Howard：嗨，我也挺可怜的，也抱抱Howie怎么样？Penny：行呀。Raj, 抱抱Howard。
Episode 13 Leonard：Guys, let's remember that Sheldon is still our friend and my roommate.Howard：So?Leonard：So nothing. Let's destroy him.Leonard：伙计们，要记得Sheldon依然是我们的朋友，我的室友。Howard：所以？Leonard：所以无所谓，让我们干掉他。
Episode 14 Leonard：Forget it, guys. If I sell to one of you, the other two are going to be really mad at me. Sheldon：Who cares? As long as you pick me!Leonard：算了吧，伙计们。如果我卖给你们其中一个，另外两个肯定会对我大发雷霆。 Sheldon：管他呢！只要你卖给我！Penny：Look, you are a great guy and it is the things you love that make you who you are.Howard：I guess that makes me "large breasts."Penny：听着，你是个好人，正是你钟爱的东西造就了你的本色。Howard：我估计我就是这么被造成了“大波波”。
Episode 16Penny：Sheldon, I didn't see your present.Sheldon：That's because I didn't bring one.Penny：Why not? Howard：Don't ask.Sheldon：The entire institution of gift-giving makes no sense.Howard：Too late.Sheldon：Let's say I go out and I spend $50 on you. It's a laborious activity because I have to imagine what you need, whereas you know what you need. Now, I could simplify things--just give you the $50 directly, and then you could give me $50 on my birthday, and so on, until one of us dies, leaving the other one old and $50 richer. And I ask you, is it worth it?Penny：Sheldon，我没看到你的礼物啊。Sheldon：那是因为我没带礼物来。Penny：为什么啊？ Howard：不要问！Sheldon：整个送礼物的机制是没有意义的。Howard：太迟了。Sheldon：就说我出门花50美元给你买了件礼物。这是桩苦差事，因为我得费心思索你需要什么，尽管你知道自己需要什么。现在，我们可以把程序简化一下——干脆直接给你50美元，然后我过生日的时候你再给我50美元，然后就这么继续下去，直到我们之中的一个死了，留下一个比你富50美元的老人。现在让我问你，这样做意义何在啊？
Episode 17Howard：You know, I'm really glad you decided to learn Mandarin.Sheldon：Why? Howard：Once you're fluent, you'll have a billion more people to annoy instead me.Howard：知道吗，你决定学汉语我真的非常高兴。Sheldon：为什么？Howard：等你说流利了，你可以去骚扰十多亿人，我就解放了。Leonard：Why are you learning Chinese?Sheldon：I believe the Szechuan Palace has been passing off orange chicken as tangerine chicken, and I intend to confront them.Leonard：If I were you, I'd be more concerned about what they're passing off as chicken.Leonard：你为什么要学中文？Sheldon：我认为老四川餐馆（亚利桑那州凤凰城44街668号的中餐馆）一直在用橙皮鸡柳冒充陈皮鸡柳（可以说就是同一种食物），我打算去和他们对质。Leonard：如果我是你，我会更关心他们用什么东西冒充了鸡柳。Leonard：I don't care. She's upset, I'm going over there.Howard：Remember to sit on your hands a bit so they're warm.Leonard：I' I'm not going to take advantage of her vulnerability.Howard：You're saying if in the depths of despair she throws herself at you and demands you take her right now, you'd walk away?Leonard：I said I'm her friend, not her gay friend.Leonard：我不在乎。她很伤心，我要过去。Howard：记得把手放在屁股下面暖一会儿。Leonard：我是她的朋友，我不会趁虚而入的。Howard：那你是说，在她深深地陷入绝望时，她把自己交给你，希望你能占有她，就那样的情形下，你会一走了之？Leonard：我说我是她朋友，又没说是同性恋闺密。Penny：Tell me the truth. Am I just an idiot who picks giant losers?Leonard：No. No. Penny：Okay. So I pick good guys but turn them into losers.Leonard：Of course not.Penny：Well, got to be one or the other. Which is it?Leonard：I'm sorry, what were the choices again?Penny：跟我说实话。我是不是那种专挑烂人交往的蠢货？Leonard：不，不是。 Penny：好。那么就是我挑的人不错，是我把他们变成烂人了？Leonard：当然不是。Penny：唉，不是这个就是那个，我到底是哪一个？Leonard：不好意思，选项都是什么来着？Penny：Sheldon?Sheldon：Ai yah! Xia si wo le. Penny：Sheldon?Sheldon：哎呀！吓死我了！Penny：The point is, Leonard isn't the kind of guy I usually go out with.Sheldon：Leonard isn't the kind of guy anyone usually goes out with.Penny：问题是，Leonard不是我通常约会的那类型。Sheldon：Leonard不是任何人通常约会的那类型。Penny：Obviously, my usual choices have not worked out so well.Sheldon：Your last one worked out well for Koothrappali. He got a free iPod.Penny：很明显，我平常的选择也没有什么好结果。Sheldon：你上一次的结果对Koothrappali来说很好啊。他弄到了一个免费的iPod。Penny：I'm sorry. I don't get the point.Sheldon：Well, of course you don' I haven't made it yet. You'd have to be psychic to get it, and there's no such thing as "psychic."Penny：对不起，我没弄明白你的重点。Sheldon：啊，你当然弄不明白，我还没说到重点呢。你得会通灵才能明白，而世界上根本没有“通灵”这回事。Leonard：Sheldon, I think I've made a mistake. Sheldon：I can see that. Unless you're planning on running a marathon, on choosing both stuffing and mashed potatoes is a starch-filled redundancy.Leonard：No, it's about Penny. Sheldon：A mistake involving Penny. Okay, you'll have to narrow it down.Leonard：Sheldon我觉得我犯了个错误。 Sheldon：我看出来了。除非你打算跑马拉松，点了土豆馅饼又点土豆泥完全是淀粉过剩。Leonard：不，是有关Penny的。Sheldon：有关Penny的错误……好吧，你得把范围缩小点。Leonard：I don't think I can go out with her tonight.Sheldon：Then don't.Leonard：Other people would say "Why not?" Sheldon：Other people might be interested.Leonard： 我觉得我今天晚上没法和她出去。Sheldon：那就别出去。Leonard：换了别人会问“为什么？”Sheldon：换了别人可能会感兴趣。Leonard：Sheldon, this date is probably my one chance with Penny. What happens if I blow it?Sheldon：Well, if we accept your premise and also accept the highly improbable assumption that Penny is the only woman in the world for you, then we can logically conclude that the result of blowing it would be that you end up a lonely, bitter old man with no progeny. The image of any number of evil lighthouse keepers from Scooby-Doo cartoons comes to mind.Leonard：You're not helping.Leonard：Sheldon，这个约会可能是我跟Penny唯一的机会。如果我搞砸了怎么办?Sheldon：好吧，如果我们接受你所说的前提和那个极不可能的假设，即认为Penny是你在这世界上的唯一，那么从逻辑上我们就可以得出结论，搞砸了这次约会，你将会变成一个孤单痛苦、无子无孙的老头儿。我脑海中出现了史酷比卡通里各种邪恶的灯塔看守者的形象。Leonard：跟你说真是一点用都没有。
第一季完事儿了，这几天会陆续发后面几季。就我个人来说，最喜欢第三季，经典的台词和对话也特别的多！
Season 2Episode 1：The Bad Fish Paradigm Penny：I get it. Leonard has no business being involved with a waitress-slash-actress who felt so insecure that she lied to him about finishing community college.Sheldon：Why would you lie about that?Penny：Well, he was going on and on about this college and that grad school, and I... I didn't want him to think I was some kind of stupid loser.Sheldon：You thought the opposite of "stupid loser" was "community college graduate"?Penny：我明白你的意思了。Leonard和一个女服务生兼二流演员根本没有共同语言，何况这个女服务生兼二流演员还谎称自己完成了社区大学学业，还整天为此惴惴不安！Sheldon：这事儿你干嘛撒谎？Penny：唉呀，他总说这所大学怎样、那个研究生院怎样的，我就……我不想让他觉得我是个一无是处的傻瓜嘛。Sheldon：你觉得“一无是处的傻瓜”的反义词是“社区大学毕业生”？Penny：Look, why is it so hard for you to keep one little secret?Sheldon：I'm constitutionally incapable. That's why I was refused clearance for a very prestigious government research fellowship at a secret military supercollider located beneath a fake agricultural station 12.5 miles southeast of Traverse City, Michigan, which you did not hear about from me.Penny：Look, just forget I told you about me...not graduating from community college, okay?Sheldon：Forget? You want me to forget? This mind does not forget. I haven't forgotten a single thing since the day my mother stopped breastfeeding me. It was a drizzly Tuesday.Penny：我说，叫你守住一个小秘密就那么难吗？Sheldon：我天生就守不住。之前我申请了个项目，就是因为这个被拒的，government为那项目还设立了高端学术奖金，让人在距密歇根Traverse城东南面12.5英里一处假农业站地下研究机密军用超级超导对撞机——这可不是我说的哈。Penny：听着，你就把我告诉你我还没毕业这事儿忘掉行吗？Sheldon：忘掉？你想让我忘掉？就我这脑子，什么事儿忘得掉啊。从断奶那天起，我就没忘掉过一件事儿。那天还是周二，下着毛毛雨……Howard：Hey, qu'est que s'up? We just got back from that exhibit of those plasticized human cadavers. And some of those skinless chicks were Hot!Sheldon：If you'll excuse me, I'm going to pack.Howard：That's kind of an overreaction to a little harmless necrophilia.Leonard：It's not you, Howard. He says he's moving out.Raj：What did you do? Did you change the contrast or brightness settings on the television?Leonard：No.Raj：Did you take a Band-Aid off in front of him?Leonard：No.Howard：Did you buy generic ketchup, forget to rinse the sink, talk to him through the bathroom door?Raj：Adjust the thermostat, cook with cilantro, pronounce the "t" in often?Leonard：No.Howard：Did you make fun of trains?Leonard：No, I didn't do anything. He's just gone insane.Raj：Well, we all knew this day was coming.Howard：嘿！你们好吗？Raj：我们刚去看了塑化人体标本展。Howard：那些个剥了皮的妞儿实在是辣呀！Sheldon：不好意思，我去打包了。Howard：不过是一点无害的恋尸癖而已，他反应过度了吧。Leonard：不是因为你，Howard。他说要搬出去。Raj：你干什么了？重调了电视亮度或对比度？Leonard：没有啊。Howard：你在他面前撕创可贴了？Leonard：没有啊。Howard：你买了三无番茄酱？忘了刷水池？还是隔着厕所门跟他讲话？Raj：乱调温度计，煮饭放香菜，还是说often的时候发了“t”的音？Leonard：没有啊。Howard：你拿火车开玩笑了?Leonard：没有，我什么都没干，他精神错乱了。Raj：也是，我们都晓得这天迟早会来。Leonard：Penny thinks I'm too smart for her. That's ridiculous.Sheldon：I know. Most of your work is extremely derivative. And don't worry, that's not a secret. Everybody knows.Leonard：Penny觉得我太聪明了，她配不上我。这也太搞笑了。Sheldon：谁说不是呢。你大多数的研究成果都不是原创的。放心，这不是秘密了，地球人都知道。
第二季先放一放，先发点第三季的！ Season 3Episode 1：Howard：Sheldon, you remember the first few weeks we were looking for magnetic monopoles and not finding anything and you were acting like an obnoxious, giant dictator?Raj：I thought we were going to be gentle with him.Howard：That's why I added the "tator." And then when we finally got our first positive data, you were so happy.Sheldon：Oh, yes. In the world of emoticons, I was colon, capital "D."Howard：Well, in actuality, what your equipment detected wasn't so much evidence of paradigm-shifting monopoles as it was... static from the electric can opener we were turning on and off.Raj：He just went colon, capital "O."Howard：Sheldon，你还记得在最初几个星期里，我们探测磁单极子一无所获，结果你变成面目可憎的大J霸主吗？Raj：我以为要婉转点跟他说呢。Howard：所以我才加了“霸主”。接着终于测出一些可用数据时，你多高兴啊。Sheldon：是啊。用表情字符表达就是：D（笑脸）。Howard：这个，其实，你的仪器侦测数据不是范式转变单极子的证据，那是……我们不停地开关电动开罐刀具产生的静电。Raj：他的表情一下变成了：O（惊讶）。Sheldon：Hello, Penny. I realize you're currently at the mercy of your primitive biological urges, but as you have an entire lifetime of poor decisions ahead of you, may I interrupt this one?Sheldon：你好，Penny。我明白你现在正完全被最原始的野性冲动所支配，不过，反正这辈子还会有无数错误决定在前方等着你，我能否先打断这一个？Penny：Is that true?Leonard：It was the only way to make him happy.Penny：Well, why'd you have to make him happy?Leonard：Because when he wasn't happy, we wanted to kill him. There was even a plan. We were going to throw his kindle outside, and when he went to get it, lock the door and let him freeze to death.Sheldon：That seems 1ike a bit of an overreaction.Leonard：No, the overreaction was the plan to tie your limbs to four different sled dog teams and yell, "Mush."Penny：他说的是真的？Leonard：只有这样才能让他开心呀。Penny：可是，你们干嘛非要让他开心呢？Leonard：因为他不开心的时候，我们都想杀了他。我们甚至制定过计划。我们打算把他的电子书扔到外头，等他出去捡的时候，锁上门冻死他。Sheldon：这计划听起来有点过分啊。Leonard：这个不算什么。真正过分的计划是把你四肢分别绑到四支雪撬狗队上，然后大喊“驾”！Sheldon：Are you saying that you think a "celebration pie" is even remotely comparable to a Nobel Prize?Penny： Well, they're pretty tasty.Sheldon：And on a different, but not unrelated topic, based on your current efforts to buoy my spirits, do you truly believe that you were ever fit to be a cheer leader?Sheldon：你是说，你觉得一个“庆祝馅饼”居然能和诺贝尔奖相提并论？Penny：呃，那馅饼真的是很好吃啊。Sheldon：再从一个截然不同但并非无关的角度上说，就你现在对我鼓励了半天的结果上看，你真以为自己能胜任拉拉队长之职？Sheldon：Oh, you think you're so clever. Well,
while I do not currently have a scathing retort, you check your e-mail periodically for a doozy.Sheldon：噢，你觉得自己挺聪明是吧。那好，让我告诉你，虽然眼下我想不出什么尖刻的话来反驳你，但我想到之后会给你发邮件的！Penny：What is it?Leonard：It's a snowflake. From the North Pole.Penny：Are you serious?Leonard：Uh-huh. It'll last forever. I preserved in a one percent solution of polyvinyl acetal resin.Penny：Oh, my God. That's the most romantic thing anyone's ever said to me that I didn't understand.Penny：这是什么？Leonard：一片雪花，北极的雪花。Penny：你说真的？Leonard：嗯哼。它将永不消散。我将它保存在纯净的聚乙烯醇缩醛树脂里了。Penny：哦，天哪！这是所有我听到但听不懂的话当中最浪漫的一句了！Leonard：Will you please take that stupid hat off?Howard：No, I want to blend in.Raj：To what? Toy Story?Leonard：你能不能把你那傻帽子摘了？Howard：不能，我得入乡随俗。Raj：入什么乡？《玩具总动员》？Sheldon's mother：Oh, you still having trouble talking to the ladies? Because, you know, at our church, We have a woman who's an amazing healer. Mostly she does, uh, crutch and wheelchair people, But 1 bet she'd be willing to take a shot at whatever Third World demon is running around inside of you.Sheldon's mother：噢，还是不敢跟女的讲话是吧？你知道，我们教堂里有位女士是位了不起的治疗师。多数时候她都在治疗柱拐杖和坐轮椅的，但我敢打赌，她一定愿意试试帮你治疗，不管你中的是什么第三世界的邪。
S302Sheldon：You know me to be a very smart man. Don't you think if I were wrong, I'd know it?Sheldon：你知道我是个聪明绝顶的人，要是我错了，我能不知道吗？Leonard：We don't have to have sex every night, you know.Howard：You don't have to, but it's highly recommended.Leonard：我们没必要夜夜春宵吧。Howard：是没必要，但强烈推荐啊。Sheldon：You're good-naturedly ribbing me, aren't you?Sheldon：你在绵里藏针地嘲笑我，是不是？Howard：No, you're misunderstanding. A shiksa goddess isn't an actual goddess. And we don't pray to them. We prey on them.Howard：不，你搞错了。Shiksa女神（犹太人用以称呼非犹太的女人）不是真的女神，我们用不着膜拜她们。我们只想摸摸她们。Howard：What's the matter, you chicken?Sheldon：I've always found that an inappropriate slur. Chickens are not by nature, at all timid. In fact, when I was young, my neighbor's chicken got loose and chased me up the big elm tree in front of our house.Raj：Chickens can't climb trees.Sheldon：Thank God.Howard：Okay, I believe a chicken made you his bitch. Howard：怎么，害怕啦小鸡儿？Sheldon：我一直都觉得这句话很无厘头。鸡实质上一点都不胆小。事实上，我小时候，有一次邻居家的鸡跑了出来，一直把我追到我家门前的大榆树上。Raj：鸡不会爬树。Sheldon：真是谢天谢地。Howard：嗯，我倒是确信那只鸡看上你了。Raj：Ugh, Toby, what did you do in a past life to be so disgusting now?Raj：噢，Toby，你上辈子造了什么孽，导致你这辈子长得这么恶心？Sheldon：Interesting. You're afraid of insects and women. Ladybugs must render you catatonic.Sheldon：有意思。你既怕虫子又怕女人，瓢虫（英文: 女士+虫）岂不是让你精神崩溃。Penny：You may be right about me and Leonard.Sheldon：Of course I'm right. What are the odds I'd be wrong twice in one week?Penny：关于我跟Leonard你倒有可能说对了。Sheldon：我当然是对的。我一周出错两次的几率能有多少。Leonard：What's going on?Sheldon：Oh, you'd like to catch up on the events of the day. All right. Well, there was a half-hour wait at the bank to get into my safe deposit box, I was forced to talk to Penny about your sexual problems, and, oh, yes, in a moment filled with biblical resonance, pride wentth before my fall, causing my Flash 123 to go with to Wolowitz.Leonard：Wait a minute. You talked to Penny about our sex life?Sheldon：Leonard, it astonishes me how you continually fixate on the trivial.Leonard：碰上什么事了？Sheldon：噢，你是想知道我今天的所有行程。好吧。呃，我在银行等了半个小时，取了保管箱里的东西，然后被迫跟Penny聊了你们的性生活问题，哦对了，在一个醍醐灌顶的时刻，所谓骄者必败，我把第123期闪电侠输给了Wolowitz。Leonard：等等，你跟Penny谈起我们俩的性生活？Sheldon：Leonard，你不断地关注这些鸡毛蒜皮的事，真让我吃惊。
Episode 3：Penny：Want some French toast?Sheldon：It's Oatmeal Day.Penny：Tell you what, next French Toast Day, I will make you oatmeal.Sheldon：Dear lord, are you still going to be here on French Toast Day?Penny：要不要来点法式吐司？Sheldon：今天是“麦片日”。Penny：那这样好了，下一个“法式吐司日”，我给你做麦片。Sheldon：天呐，你要在这儿一直赖到法式吐司日？Leonard：Sheldon, you can't train my girlfriend like a lab rat.Sheldon：Actually, it turns out I can.Leonard：Well, you shouldn't.Sheldon：There's just no pleasing you, is there, Leonard? You weren't happy with my previous approach to dealing with her, so I decided to employ operant conditioning techniques, building on the works of Thorndike and B.F. Skinner. By this time next week, I believe I can have her jumping out of a pool, balancing a beach ball on her nose.Leonard：No, this has to stop now.Sheldon：I'm not suggesting we really make her jump out of a pool. Leonard：Sheldon，你不能把我女朋友当作小白鼠对待。Sheldon：事实证明，我能。Leonard：那么，你不该。Sheldon：是你心里不舒服了，对吧 Leonard？你不喜欢我之前待她的方式，所以我决定采用条件反射的手段。根据Thorndike和B.F. Skinner的理论，到下周这个时候，我就能让她跳出泳池表演鼻子顶球了。Leonard：不行，现在就给我停手。Sheldon：我又没真想让她跳出泳池。
S304：Penny：Hi, guys. Hi, honey.Leonard：Hey.Howard：Ooh, we're "honey" now, are we?Sheldon：Yes. Since their relationship become carnal, Penny has upgraded his designated term of endearment, thus distinguishing him from those she calls "sweetie," usually in an attempt to soften a thinly-veiled insult.Penny：You're boring people, "sweetie".Sheldon：Although, sometimes, she omits the veil entirely.Penny：嗨，伙计们。嗨，亲爱的。Leonard：嗨。Howard：噢，这句“亲爱的”也包括我们在内，是不？Sheldon：对，不过自从他们有了肉体关系，Penny就升级了对他的爱称，使得Leonard从众多“亲爱的”中脱颖而出；但通常她叫你“亲爱的”只是为了美化一下对你的羞辱。Penny：你真无聊啊，“亲爱的”。Sheldon：不过有时候她还是会直接羞辱你。Howard：The bad news is: he says he's getting deported.Leonard：What do you mean, he's getting deported?Sheldon：I believe it means that the U.S. Government is going to expel him from the country. He could then either return to his native India, emigrate to another country that's willing to accept him, or wander the high seas as a stateless pirate. Personally, I'd choose pirate.Howard：Penny, would you mind stepping outside so we can speak to him?Penny：Fine. But the man really needs to work on his girl issues.Sheldon：Another reason to consider life of piracy. Even today, I understand that's an all-male profession.Howard：坏消息是，他要被驱逐出境了。Leonard：“他要被驱逐出境”是什么意思？Sheldon：我认为它的意思是美国ZF要把他驱逐出这个国家。他要么回印度老家，要么移居接受他的国家，或者去公海当个无国籍海盗。就我个人而言，我对做海盗情有独钟。Howard：Penny，你能不能先出去，我们也好和他谈谈？Penny：好吧。但他也该改改不敢跟女生说话的毛病了。Sheldon：这也是另一个考虑做海盗的原因。即便到了今天，海盗业依然是男人的天下。Sheldon：Hello, Raj.Raj：Hello，Sheldon.Sheldon：Forgive me, as you know, I'm no adept at reading facial cues, 6ut I'm going to take a stab here: you're either sad or nauseated.Raj：I'm sad.&&Sheldon：I was going to say sad. I don't know why I hedged.Sheldon：你好啊，Raj。Raj：你好，Sheldon。Sheldon：不好意思，虽然我不太善长解读面部表情，但我想试一试：你不是在伤心，就是在反胃中。Raj：我是在伤心。Sheldon：我正准备说伤心的。不知怎么的我犹豫了。Sheldon：I've always been a little confused about this. Why don't Hindus eat beef?Raj：We believe cows are gods.Sheldon：Not technically. In Hinduism, cattle are thought to be like god.Raj：Do not tell me about my own culture, Sheldon! In the mood I'm in, I'll take you out--I swear to cow!Sheldon：I'm sorry.Raj：Me, too. I'm just... I'm a little on edge.Sheldon：Understandable. Your entire life seems to be crumbling around you, and your future appears bleak at best.Raj：Thank you.Sheldon：And you're wrong about Hinduism and cows.Sheldon：我一直对这事儿有些疑惑，为什么印度教不准吃牛肉？Raj：我们相信牛就是神。Sheldon：理论上说不通。在印度教中，只是认为牛长的像神而已。
Raj：我不需要你教我自家的文化，Sheldon！按老子现在的心情，就该把你揪出去——我对牛发誓！Sheldon：对不起。Raj：我也是。我只是……有点激动了。Sheldon：可以理解。你的整个人生基本上崩溃了，你的未来充其量也只能说惨淡无光。Raj：谢谢哈。Sheldon：而且你对印度教以及牛的问题也理解有误。Sheldon：Raj, did you get a job with Professor Laughlin?Raj：No.Sheldon：I assumed as much. But never fear. Like the subordinate male protagonist in countless action movies who disappears half way through the second reel, I have returned to save the day. Odd. Usually, he's met by cheers. Anyway, I was thinking about exploring the string theory implications of gamma rays from dark matter annihilations, and it occurred to me that I could benefit--Leonard：Excuse me, Sheldon. How many reels before the subordinate male protagonist gets to s point?Sheldon：I'm sorry--if you didn't cheer at my entrance, it's too late to buy into the premise.Sheldon：Raj，你得到Laughlin教授的工作了吗？Raj：没。Sheldon：我猜也是。但是不用怕，就像无数动作片里那些第二男主角在影片放到一半时就会消失那样，我现在回来拯救世界了。奇怪了。通常他都是在欢呼声中回归的。无论如何，我正想着探索超弦理论在暗物质湮灭时所放出的伽玛射线中的含义，我突然间发现我能利用——Leonard：打扰一下，Sheldon。通常要浪费多少卷胶片，才能让第二男主角说到正题？Sheldon：不好意思——如果你没有为我的出场欢呼，那你现在提出你的假设也为时已晚了。Raj：You want me to work with you?Sheldon：For me. You're going to have to listen more careful when you're on the job.Raj：Ay, uh, please don't take this the wrong way, but I'd rather swim buck-naked across the Ganges with a paper cut on my nipple and die a slow, agonizing death from a viral infection than work with you.Sheldon：For me.Raj：你想让我和你一起工作？Sheldon：是为我工作。你今后在工作的时候要听得更仔细点儿。Raj：好，呃，请不要会错意，不过我情愿在乳头上别张纸赤条条地游过恒河抑或是染上病毒痛苦而挣扎着死掉也不愿与你一起工作。Sheldon：是为我工作！Raj：I've reconsidered your offer to let me work with you.Sheldon：For me.Raj：Yes, for you. I do, however, have a few conditions. First, at all times, I am to be treated as a colleague and an equal. Second, my contributions shall noted in all published material. And third, you are never allowed to lecture me on Hinduism or my Indian culture.Sheldon：I'm impressed, Raj. Those are very cogent and reasonable conditions.Raj：Thank you.Sheldon：I reject them all.Raj：Then you leave me no choice. I accept the job.Sheldon：I'm sorry, I believe you've misunderstood. I'm not giving you the job. I'm simply affording you the opportunity to apply for it. H we'll get started with the interview.Raj：Wha... You're kidding!Sheldon：Please.Raj：All right.Sheldon：So...that's what you wear to an interview?Raj：Come on, dude, we've been friends for years.Sheldon：Oh, pulling strings, are we?Raj：Sheldon, for god's sakes, don't make me beg.Sheldon：Bazinga! You've fallen victim to another one of my classic practical jokes. I'm your boss now. You may want to laugh at that.
Raj：关于你让我和你一起工作的提议，我考虑再三。Sheldon：是为我工作。Raj：是是，为你工作。我接受，但有几个条件。首先，任何情况下，你都得把我看作同事，平等对待。其次，在所有发表物上都应注明我的名字及贡献。第三，绝不许你在我面前挑剔我的印度教或印度文化。Sheldon：真令我钦佩，Raj。条件合理，而且很有说服力。Raj：谢谢。Sheldon：我统统拒绝。Raj：那我别无选择了。我接受这份工作。Sheldon：不好意思，我想你大概搞错了，我不是请你来工作的，只是给你一个机会来应征而已。坐下吧，我们先来面试。Raj：靠，你开玩笑吧！Sheldon：请坐。Raj：好吧。Sheldon：那好……你就穿这个来面试吗？Raj：行行好吧，哥们，我们可是多年的老友啊！Sheldon：哇，开始套近乎了哈？Raj：Sheldon，看在老天的份上，别逼我求你。Sheldon：逗你玩！你不幸沦为了我经典恶作剧的第N个牺牲品。我现在可是你的老板，我说的笑话你敢不笑？Penny：Hey, want to get a little crazy?Leonard：What are you thinking?Penny：Let's slide over to Sheldon’s spot and make out.Leonard：You are a dirty girl.(Knock on the door)Penny：Oh, god, how did he know?Penny：哎，想来点儿刺激的吗？Leonard：你想怎样？Penny：我们在Sheldon的专座上狠狠干一场。Leonard：你够放荡的啊。（敲门声）Penny：天啊，他是怎么知道的？Penny：That was fun.Leonard：Thank you.Penny：Leonard, honey, you don't have to say thank you every time we have sex.Leonard：Oh. Okay. Tomorrow you're going to get a card in the mail. Just throw it away.Penny：刚才真有意思。Leonard：谢谢。Penny：Leonard，亲亲，你用不着每次做完都和我说谢谢的。Leonard：噢，好吧。明天你如果在信箱里看到张卡片，扔了就是。Penny：Oh, kill me.Howard：By the way, I couldn't help overhearing your big finish. Bravo, Leonard.Penny：See, if you had killed me when I said "kill me," I wouldn't have had to hear that.Penny：噢，杀了我吧！Howard：顺便说一句，无意中听到你最后那猛地一下。真有你的啊，Leonard。Penny：看吧，如果我说“杀了我”的时候你杀了我，我就用不着听这个了！Raj：Okay, well, let me just tell you, if we having this argument in my native language I'd be kicking your butt.Sheldon：English is your native language.Raj：好吧，这么跟你说吧，如果这会儿我是用母语跟你争论，我早就把你杀得片甲不留！Sheldon：英语本来就是你的母语！
Episode 5：Leonard：Still can't believe she's going out with me.Howard：Nobody can.Leonard：还是不敢相信她和我在一起了。Howard：没人敢相信。Raj：Hey, how come I wasn't part of this deal?Sheldon：You had left the refreshment stand In order to indulge in your customary preemptive pre-show urination.Raj：Oh, so that's how it works? I have a teeny bladder and I don't get a hot girlfriend?Raj：喂，我怎么不知道这件事？Sheldon：你当时不在小食店，你去解决习惯性提前出现的尿急了。Raj：噢，就因为这个？一个小小的膀胱毁灭了我的漂亮女友梦？Howard：Come on, I'm smart, I have good job and I have only three percent body fat.Raj：It's true. I've seen him at the beach. He's like a human chicken wing.Howard：拜托，我那么聪明，又有份好工作，而且我的体脂肪率只有3%。Raj：没错。我在沙滩上看见过，他就像个人形鸡翅。Penny：And you thought it's a good time to bring this up right after sex?Leonard：Well, I sure as hell wasn't going to bring it up before sex.Penny：你觉得这种事适合在激情过后马上说吗？Leonard：这个么，我只是很确定在激情之前不会说。Leonard：You know that deep down inside, Howard's a really nice guy.Penny：The problem isn't what's on the inside. It's the creepy candy coating.Leonard：你也知道Howard内里其实是个很好的人。Penny：问题不在于他的内里，而在于他令人毛骨悚然的YD外表。Howard：Excuse me. Oh, damn. It's my mother.Bernadette：Are you going to answer it?Howard：I'm torn. She might be dying, and, you know, I wouldn't want to miss that. On the other hand, If I let it go to voicemail, I could play it over and over.Bernadette：I know how you feel. My mother makes me crazy.Howard：Not as crazy as my mother makes me.Bernadette：Oh, yeah? Does your mother call u every day at work to see if you've had a healthy lunch?Howard：My mother calls me at work to see if I had a healthy bowel movement.Howard：不好意思。哦，见鬼，是我妈打来的。Bernadette：你要接吗？Howard：想接。她可能要死了，要知道，我可不想错过这一刻。不过话说回来，如果转到语音信箱的话，我就能一遍遍地回味了。Bernadette：我理解你的感受，我妈快把我逼疯了。Howard：不会比我妈更狠的。Bernadette：你确定吗？你妈也会每天在你上班时打电话来，问你吃没吃健康午餐吗？Howard：我妈会在上班时打给我，问我排便正不正常！Howard：Okay, check this out. My mother made me we rubber gloves to kindergarten so I wouldn't pick up a disease from the other children.Bernadette：That's nothing. I couldn't ride a bicycle 'cause my mother was afraid I'd hit a bump and lose my virginity.Howard：You didn't, did you?Bernadette：Not on a bicycle. In a Camry.Howard：Corolla!Howard：好吧，这个怎样：我妈强迫我戴着橡胶手套上幼儿园，以防从别的孩子那儿染上什么病。Bernadette：这有什么。我妈不让我骑自行车，因为她怕我撞到什么，从此不再是处女身。Howard：你不会真在自行车上失身了吧？Bernadette：不是在自行车上，是在丰田凯美瑞上！Howard：我是在丰田花冠上！Howard：Listen, you have to come to Shabbat dinner at my house sometime.Bernadette：Why?Howard：A catholic girl like you, wearing a big cross like that might just give my mother the big brain aneurysm I've been hoping for.Howard：听着，改天你一定要来我家尝尝安息日晚餐。Bernadette：为何？Howard：像你这样的天主教女孩，戴着那么大一个十字架，说不定我妈就能像我期待已久那样患上脑瘤。
S306Penny：Kite fighting?Leonard：Oh, yeah. It's an extremely competitive, cutthroat sport.Sheldon：Well, actually, the risk of throat cutting is very low. On the other hand, severe string burn is a real and ever-present danger.Penny：斗风筝？Leonard：是啊。那可是竞争激烈，乃至你死我活的运动。Sheldon：实际上，惨死的几率很低。倒是真的经常有被风筝线严重割伤手指的危险。Leonard：Maybe I embarrass her.Sheldon：You're embarrassing me right now. A grown man worrying about such nonsense when in the middle of flying kites.Leonard：也许我让她囧了。Sheldon：你现在就让我囧了。一个大男人在放风筝的时候居然担心这种无聊东西！Leonard：So, Penny doesn't want me around her friends. I embarrass her. What else could it be?Sheldon：Well, her actions could be out of concern for your feelings perhaps she's excluded you from these gatherings because she's scouting for a new mate and don't want to do it in front of you.Leonard：Oh... how kind of her.Sheldon：Agreed. Most primates don't show that sort of discretion. A female bonobo will copulate with a new male in front of the old one without so much as a "how do you do?"Leonard：Penny不想带我见朋友。我让她囧了。还会有其他可能吗？Sheldon：这个么，可以将她的行为理解为顾及你的感受。也许她不让你参加聚会是因为她想物色新配偶，但不想让你看到。Leonard：真是贴心啊。Sheldon：同意。大多数灵长类动物没有这种判断力，雌性小黑猩猩会在前配偶面前与新配偶交配，根本不会想到去问一句“近来好吗？”Raj：You always do this, you know? You ditch me for a woman you don't have a shot with.Howard：I totally had a shot. Raj：With a woman you were chasing through a park--that's not a shot, that's a felony. What's worse, it cost me my prized Patang fighting kite.Raj：你总是这样你知不知道？为一个连泡上的机会都没有的女人甩下我。Howard：我完全有机会好不好！Raj：追着个女人满公园跑——这不叫机会，叫犯罪好不好！搭上我赢回来的帕唐风筝更是罪加一等。Penny：Leonard, look, if you want to meet my friends, that would be great. I just, you know, I didn't want you to be bored.Leonard：I wouldn't be bored. Why would I be bored?Penny：Well, 'cause they're not genius scientists.Leonard：Penny, I like all sorts of people. In fact, some of my best friends aren't geniuses.Penny：Like who?Leonard：Okay, some of my Facebook friends aren't geniuses.Penny：Leonard，如果你想见我的朋友，当然很好啦。我只是，只是不想让你觉得太无聊而已。Leonard：我才不会觉得无聊呢。我怎么会觉得无聊呢？Penny：因为他们不是天才科学家啊。Leonard：Penny，我喜欢各种各样的人。事实上，我一些最好的朋友也不是天才。Penny：比方说？Leonard：好吧，我一些网上的朋友也不是天才。Leonard：Okay, a complete pass. First down, New England. I think I'm starting to get this.Raj：Really? The only thing I've learned in the last two hours is that American men love drinking beer, pee too often and have trouble getting erections. Leonard：Focus on the game, not the commercials, Raj.Raj：I'm just saying, maybe if you people cut back on the beer, you could get out of the bathroom and satisfy your women without pharmaceutical help.
Leonard：好的，成功传球。一档，新英格兰。我觉得我开始有点明白了。Raj：是咩？看了两小时，我就明白了美国男人很爱喝啤酒。经常尿频，有勃起障碍。Leonard：叫你看比赛，不是看广告，Raj。Raj：我就说说嘛，如果你们少喝点啤酒，就可以走出厕所，不用伟哥就能满足你们的女人。Howard：Raj, what are you doing here? You were supposed to help me pimp out my Vespa.Raj：I'm sorry, are you under the impression that we're still friends?Howard：Raj，你在这儿干嘛呢？你本该帮我改装小摩托的。Raj：不好意思，你还沉浸在我们依然是朋友的印象中吗？Howard：Sheldon knows football?Leonard：Apparently.Howard：I mean, Quidditch, sure. But football? Howard：Sheldon懂橄榄球？Leonard：显然他懂。Howard：我是说，魁地奇他肯定懂，可是橄榄球他也懂？Leonard：I'm going to Penny's on Saturday to watch a game with her friends and I don't want to look like an idiot. I want to blend in.Sheldon：If you want to blend in with Penny's friends, I'd think looking like an idiot would be the perfect camouflage.Leonard：我周日要去Penny那儿，跟她的朋友看场球赛。我想表现的合群点儿，别像个白痴一样。Sheldon：如果你想融入Penny的朋友圈，最好还是装得像个白痴一样。Sheldon：Penny. Penny. Penny.Penny：Sheldon, come in. Sheldon：Thank you. I'd like to make a sandwich, but I'm out of bread.Penny：There's some in the fridge.Sheldon：You shouldn't keep your bread in the refrigerator. Staleness is caused by crystallization of the starch molecules, which occurs faster at cool temperatures.Penny：On Earth, we say "thank you."Sheldon：Penny，Penny，Penny。Penny：Sheldon，进来吧。Sheldon：谢谢。我想做三明治，但没面包了。Penny：冰箱里有。Sheldon：你不该把面包放冰箱里的。淀粉分子间的结晶作用会让面包变硬，在低温条件下，这一过程会加速。Penny：在我们地球，说句“谢谢”就行。Sheldon：So Leonard, how goes the mimesis?Leonard："Mimesis"?Sheldon：You know. Mimesis. An action in which the mimic takes on the properties of a specific object or organism. Mimesis.Leonard：What the hell are you talking about?Sheldon：I'm attempting to communicate with you without my meaning becoming apparent to those around you.Sheldon：Leonard，拟态进展如何？Leonard：“拟态”？Sheldon：你知道的，拟态。就是模仿者模仿某个特定的目标或人物的行为。拟态。Leonard：你到底在说些什么啊？Sheldon：我想跟你交流，又不想让你周围的人听懂！
S307：Sheldon：Come on, Leonard--if you roll a six, Penny dies horribly in a nuclear meltdown. See what I mean when I say the fun is real?Sheldon：快点，Leonard——如果你掷了六点，Penny就会在核外泄中惨死。明白我为什么说乐趣是实实在在的了吧？Penny：Hey.Leonard：Hey. We're, uh, going to the movies.Sheldon：No, we're not. We're standing in the hallway, suffering through an awkward encounter.Leonard：Hang on. They're showing a new digital print of Time Bandits. You wouldn't want to come, would you?Penny：Not really, no.Sheldon：All right, invitation pointlessly offered, invitation declined as expected, everyone's civil, nobody's fighting. Have a nice evening.Leonard：Just give us a minute.Sheldon：Oh, take all the time you need.Leonard：So, are we going to talk about last night?Penny：Are you ready to apologize?Leonard：No.Penny：Wrong answer. But thank you for playing.Leonard：Oh, come on. This is stupid.Penny：Oh, there it is again! You think I'm stupid!Leonard：No, there's a difference between being stupid and acting stupid.Penny：Oh, yeah? Well, there's a difference between being a jerk and being an ass!Leonard：No, there isn't! They're synonyms!Raj：Well, that was rather unpleasant. Howard：Yeah, I don't think I need my preshow urination anymore.Sheldon：Leonard, when that woman moved in three years ago, I told you not to talk to her, and now look, we're going to be late for the movies.Penny：嗨。Leonard：嗨。我们，呃，要去看电影。Sheldon：才怪。我们站在走廊里，忍受你们尴尬的相遇。Leonard：等一下。新的《时光大盗》今天开映，你不会想看的，对吧？Penny：一点都不想。Sheldon：好了，毫无意义地邀请，不出所料地拒绝，用词都很文明，没一个人吵架。晚上愉快。Leonard：就给我们一分钟。Sheldon：噢，你们尽管慢慢谈。Leonard：我们要不要谈谈昨晚的事？Penny：你准备道歉了吗？Leonard：不。Penny：答案错误，谢谢参与。Leonard：拜托，这也太**了！Penny：又来了，你觉得我很**？Leonard：没有，人傻和行为傻是不一样的！Penny：噢，是吗？那混球和混蛋也很不一样呢！Leonard：才怪！它们俩是同义词！Raj：呦，场面相当不愉快啊。Howard：对啊，开场前我都不用尿尿了。Sheldon：Leonard，那女的三年前搬进来的时候我就告诉你不要搭理她，现在好了，电影我们是迟到定了！Leonard：Let me ask you something. Do you think it's okay for Penny to have an ex-boyfriend sleep on her couch?Howard：No, I mean, she's obviously way out of line.Leonard：Thank you!Howard：But if she dumps you, she'll have a new boyfriend by tomorrow morning and you'll have a new girl friend when you figure out how to build one. So the only question is: how long until you fold?Leonard：我问你，你觉得Penny让老相好在自己家过夜合适吗？Howard：当然不好，她明显太过分了！Leonard：谢谢！Howard：但是如果她把你甩了，她第二天就能找个新欢，而你得自己想办法造一个。所以现在唯一的疑问是：你打算什么时候低头？Raj：Well, excuse me, I don't think Penny's out of line at all. You don't own her. It's like my girl Beyonce says: "If you like it, you should put a ring on it."
Howard：Come on. At the very least, when she found out Leonard was upset about it, she should've backed off.Raj：You mean like when a guy's upset because his friend agreed to take a cooking class with him and then doesn't show up because he's doing a juice fast with his mother?Howard：I didn't know you were upset about that.Raj：Really! Did you miss all the subtitle indicators, like me saying, "Howard, I am upset."Howard：Okay, sorry.Raj：Maybe it means something different in this country. Back in India, it means you're upset with a guy named Howard!Howard：I said I'm sorry.Raj：Sorry doesn't make up for the fact that I had to make chicken and rice with this vegan guy. Do you know what vegan chicken and rice is? Rice!Howard：Yeah, well, you think I was having fun, sitting around all night listening to my mother say, "Have you ever peed so much in your life?"Raj：Oh, my God, you are such a mama's boy.Howard：Hey, don't bring my mother into this!Raj：You brought your mother into this!Sheldon：Stop it, both of you. All this fighting, I might as well be back with my parents! "Damn it, George, "I told you if you didn't quit drinkin' I'd leave you!" "Well, I guess that makes you a liar. Cause I'm drunk as hell and you're still here!" "Stop yelling! You're making Sheldon cry!" "I'll tell you what's making Sheldon cry! That I let you name him Sheldon!"Howard：Boy, what got him so upset?Raj：Oh, sure, you can tell when Sheldon's upset.Raj：等等，我一点也不觉得Penny过分啊，她又不是你的人。我最爱的Beyonce说过，“喜欢她，就向她求婚。”Howard：得了吧，最起码Penny看出Leonard不高兴就该让步。Raj：你是说正如某人不开心，因为他朋友答应和他去上烹饪课，结果却放他鸽子，因为他正和他妈搞斋戒？Howard：我不知道你为这个不开心啊。Raj：是嘛，难道所有的暗示你都没看到，比如“Howard，我不开心！”Howard：对不起，行了吧。Raj：或许在这个国家的意义不同，在我们印度，这表示我在生一个叫Howard的小子的气！Howard：我说了对不起嘛。Raj：道歉也弥补不了我得和一个素食男做鸡肉饭的事实！你知道素鸡肉饭是什么吗？就是米饭！Howard：哎，我说，你以为我就很开心是吧，整晚傻坐着听我妈念叨“你这辈子尿过这么多吗？”Raj：天啊，你真是个恋娘狂！Howard：喂，别把我妈扯进来！Raj：你自己把她扯进来的！Sheldon：别吵了，你们两个！听你们吵个不停，简直就跟我爸妈一样！“该死的乔治，我说过你要是再不戒酒我就离开你！”“这只能说明你是个骗子，我已经醉成这样了，你还没走！”“别嚷嚷了，Sheldon快被你弄哭了！”“告诉你Sheldon为什么哭吧，就因为我让你给他起了Sheldon这么个破名儿！”Howard：老天，他干嘛这么生气？Raj：噢，是哦，Sheldon生气你倒能看出来。Penny：Hey, Sheldon. What are you doing here?Sheldon：This is a restaurant. It's lunchtime. I would think, as a waitress, you'd be familiar with the paradigm.Penny：Is Leonard coming?Sheldon：No, I believe Leonard is waiting for you to come crawling back to him and apologize.Penny：Well, that's not gonna happen.Sheldon：I assumed that would be your attitude. Hence, my true purpose coming here.Penny：Which is?
Sheldon：I want you to crawl back to him and apologize.Penny：嗨，Sheldon。你怎么在这儿？Sheldon：这是家餐馆，而现在是午餐时间。我认为，作为一名女招待，你应该很熟悉这套程序了。Penny：Leonard来吗？Sheldon：不来。我相信他正在等着你回心转意，并向他道歉呢。Penny：这绝不可能。Sheldon：我猜也是。因此我来这儿的真正目的是——Penny：啥？Sheldon：我要你回心转意，并向他道歉。Penny：What does Leonard complain about?Sheldon：Your driving. The plethora of stuffed animals on your bed that stare at him during your amorous activities. Your constant tardiness, your singing.Penny：My singing?Sheldon：That's actually from my list. But Leonard would be a fool if he didn't agree with it.Penny：Okay, if Leonard has so many problems with me, why hasn't he just said so?Sheldon：Because, according to him, you're oversensitive and have a temper.Penny：Oh, really? Well, then, do me a favor and tell Leonard that he can drop dead!Sheldon：And she wonders why she's constantly undertipped.Penny：Leonard抱怨我什么？Sheldon：你差劲的驾驶技术。床上毛绒玩具一堆，你们亲热的时候老瞪着他。干什么都拖拖拉拉，还有你难听的歌喉。Penny：我难听的歌喉？Sheldon：这其实是我加上去的，但Leonard不同意才怪。Penny：如果Leonard对我有这么多意见，他自己干嘛不说？Sheldon：因为他觉得你太敏感，脾气又坏。Penny：噢，是吗？那拜托你帮个忙，告诉Leonard，他可以去死了！Sheldon：她还奇怪为啥自己的小费老那么少。Penny：All right, what's going on?Leonard：It's a little hard to explain. He does this thing where he pretends he's in an alternate dimension that occupies the same physical space we're in, but he can't perceive us.Sheldon：Don't flatter yourself. I'm just ignoring you.Penny：好吧，他怎么了？Leonard：说来话长。他这样是假装他处于一个异次元中，虽然跟我们在同一物理空间，但无法感知我们。Sheldon：少臭美了，我只不过是懒得理你而已。Penny：Sheldon, please, try and understand. Look, Leonard and I are in a relationship, and occasionally, we're going to fight. But no matter what happens between us, we will always love you. Right, Leonard?Leonard：Always is a long time.Penny：Sheldon，请你理解，我和Leonard在谈恋爱，时不时我们会吵架的。但无论我们之间发生什么，我们都会一直爱你。对吧，Leonard？Leonard：“一直”可是段漫长的时光啊。
Episode 8：Leonard：I wish Penny didn't have to work. She loves camping.Raj：Yeah, that would have be great. You and Penny having sex in the tent while I sit out here and watch Howard hump a cactus.Leonard：我真希望Penny不用去上班，她那么喜欢露营。Raj：嗯，那样肯定不错。你和Penny在帐篷里面翻云覆雨，我坐帐篷外面看Howard和仙人掌缠绵。Sheldon：My mother always told me one should wear clean underpants in case one is in an accident.Penny：One was already in an accident.Sheldon：That doesn't mean one won't be in another, especially if I'm driving.Sheldon：我母亲常说，人都应该穿干净的内裤，以防意外发生。Penny：某人已经发生意外了。Sheldon：但不代表不会再次发生，尤其一会儿开车的是我。Howard：So, when do the meteors get here?Raj：The meteors don't get here. The earth is moving into their path.Leonard：I can feel it. I can feel the earth moving. It's moving too fast. Raj, slow it down.Raj：Okay, how's that?Leonard：Better. Thanks.Howard：我说，流星什么时候降临啊？Raj：流星不会降临，是地球正移入它们的轨道。Leonard：我能感觉到。我能感觉到地球在转动。它转得太快了。Raj 让它转慢点儿。Raj：好了，现在慢点儿没有？Leonard：好多了，谢了。Raj：One day, I hold a great ball for the president of France, but the rabbits... they hate me and don't come. I am embarrassed, so I eat all the lettuce in the world and make them watch.Raj：有一天，我为法国总统举办了一个很棒的舞会，但是兔子们……它们讨厌我，不来参加。我很尴尬，所以我吃光了世上所有的生菜，让它们只能干巴巴地望着。
Episode 9：Howard：Okay, well, before you and Penny hooked up, did she ask for you kind of commitment?Leonard：No, she was pretty clear about wanting to keep her options open.Howard：好吧，呃，在你和Penny勾搭上之前，她有没有向你索要“承诺”那类东西？Leonard：没有，她十分明确地表示自己有随时换人的权利。Sheldon：Thank you, Kripke, for depriving me of the opportunity to share my news with my friends.Kripke: My pleasure.Sheldon：My "thank you" was not sincere.Kripke: But "my pleasure" is.Sheldon：Kripke，谢谢你剥夺了我和我的朋友分享这一喜讯的机会。Kripke：我很荣幸。Sheldon：我的“谢谢”可不是由衷的。Kripke:：可我的“荣幸”是由衷的。Sheldon：All right. These are the talking points for my NPR interview tomorrow. I need to make sure that they're simple enough for the less educated in the audience to understand. Howard, look this over and tell me what unclear to you.Howard：E I have a master's degree in engineering from the Massausetts Institute of Technology. It required the completion of 144 units of grad work and an original thesis.Sheldon：Yes. Look this over and tell me what's unclear to you.Sheldon：好了，这是我明天国家公共电台采访的谈话要点。我得确信它们够简单，受教育不高的观众也能听懂。Howard，看一遍，告诉我不懂的地方。Howard：不好意思，我获得过麻省理工大学的工程学硕士学位。我得到它可是修了144个毕业学分，完成了一篇原创论文。Sheldon：是哦。看一遍，告诉我不懂的地方。Penny：I thought you liked her?Howard：I do, but she wants a commitment and I'm not sure she's my type.Penny：She agreed to go out with you for free. What more do you need?Penny：我还以为你喜欢她呢？Howard：我是喜欢她，但是她要我承诺，而我不确定她就是我喜欢的类型。Penny：她无条件答应和你出去约会。你还想要什么？Leonard：All right, he got you. You can get him back.Sheldon：I refuse to sink to his level.Raj：You can't sink. With all that helium in you, you're luck, you don't float away.Leonard：好吧，就算他整了你一次。你可以再整他啊。Sheldon：我拒绝下降到他那种层次。Raj：你下降不了。肚子里装了这么多氦气，你该庆幸自己还没飘走。Howard：I came to talk to Bernadette. She's working today, right?Penny：Yes, but I don't think she wants to see you.Howard：Why not?Penny：C